This is not meant to be a cute writing nor is it meant to be a funny writing. This is written with a bit of frustration and represents feelings from the bottom of my heart concerning the current state of affairs in my culture.
This writing has MY name on it and therefore it represents what I think. Even though after years of reflection I do believe it best represents the heart of Christ. I do not write as a representative of all churches or any church. So here goes:
I am tired of being labeled as a hate-monger because I believe homosexuality is a sin. I don’t hate you. I don’t think I am better than you. In fact you and me have this in common – we both are sinners in need of a Savior.
To those who are gay or lesbian let me state clearly again that I do not hate you. I do not dislike you. Some of you are my friends, some acquaintances, some are even family members of mine and some of you were school classmates. I care deeply for you as individuals. There are some of you who may read this that I do not know. As I write this letter be aware that even though you and I will not agree on everything, we can still care for each other. Love, concern and care can exist in the midst of disagreement.
My Apologies:
It is true that many who call themselves Christian need to get their lives together. Even further, it is a damnable shame that some church leaders push for the sanctity of marriage yet the divorce rate in their churches are the same as those outside the church.
Know this that I will NOT cease my criticism of “Christians” who on the one hand want to “defend the sanctity of marriage” yet on the other hand are cheating on their spouse, divorcing their wives or secretly having an affair with pornography. People who call themselves Christians need to keep their marriage beds pure and when they don’t I will continue to point out the hypocrisy. This includes my own behavior.
I have seen the arrogance of some who say they follow Jesus. Some make stances about not shopping at a department store because a commercial may have a gay actress. This is stupid! Why was there not the same outcry when the exact same actress was the spokesperson for a make-up company? Beware of hypocrisy and those with idle hands.
I have heard the venom of the self-righteous’ harsh words and I am ashamed of them. I have seen the haughtiness. For whatever reason some Christians have labeled your lifestyle a greater sin. I don’t know why but I don’t believe it. In the same way that I don’t represent them, they do not represent me. I value you as a person, just as Jesus would. He loved and with passion pursued those who were outcast by the religious leaders of the day.
My Convictions:
Some of you with whom I have shared close conversation tell me that there was never a time you felt “not gay.” I believe you. I do believe you when you say there was never a time you didn’t feel gay.
My Bible tells me that we were all born bearing a fallen nature. That means we were born separated from God because of sin and also born bearing sin. Just like you I, too, was born in sin. Again something you and me have in common. Each of us born into this world, deserving the wrath of a perfectly righteous God.
That is a difficult thought grasp for a lot of people because most of us are good people. Most everyone I know is a good person. I think I can safely say, just about everyone I know is good – in that they have manners, do good things, help people, try to get along with people where they work and live and want to help the needy. In general most people want to do the right thing and be a good person. But there is a difference between being a “good person” and being perfectly sinless, righteous and pure before God.
Even though I was a good person I was also a deviant. I was sexually perverse and immoral. I was even known to spin a good yarn (in other words I was a liar).
But I also know the change God gives. I can personally testify to how God, through great love, gives complete and utter change through new birth. I can tell you how He has changed my motives: that even though I am still tempted, just as Christ was, my full desire is to be obedient to Him, to cherish Him, to serve Him and to live sold out for Him.
I was not source of this change. I did not WILL myself to be righteous. I did not find it in a weekend seminar or self-help book. This New Birth comes from God and it is a complete gift.
I was not the only one to experience this change. I can tell you that there are MANY adulterers, homosexuals, thieves, drunkards and greedy people were CHANGED to then be NO LONGER any of those things.
So when businesses like Chick-Fil-A make a stand for traditional marriage based upon the facts that they are a Christian company and have been consistent with that stance by remaining married to their original spouse – don’t hate. When Joel Olsteen makes a stance to believe in what the Bible says – don’t hate. When Kirk Cameron confesses he has homosexual friends in his life yet reaffirms that homosexuality is not Biblical – don’t hate. Why is it that many of you scream so loudly for tolerance yet won’t tolerate others? Is not that hypocritical?
You see, I will outright proclaim, homosexuality is a sin. No matter how you try to twist the scriptures and find ways to justify it, it is a sin. That does not make me better than you. It puts us BOTH in the same category: IN NEED OF A SAVIOR.
Thank you for your statement. There is a need for Jesus and it is to save/rescue us from our fleshly selves/sinful natures. Knowing Jesus requires us to deny the flesh and follow HIM in which we are greatly rewarded by being clothed with righteousness (Rev.19:8, KJV) for our works do follow us (Rev.14:13)and in believing in HIM, will have Everlasting life (John 3:16). Everyone is in need of a Saviour/Rescue (Gk. 4991 – rescue or safety – Strong’s).
I agree with what you have written. It is difficult to express disagreement with the gay lifestyle and not be taken for a hate monger. I have one friend in partiuclar who was once in a leadership position in a church I attended who now openly lives a gay lifestyle. He left the church before he embraced the homosexual lifestyle, and it is clear that had he stayed he would have been disciplined and removed from leadership, which I believe to be in keeping with the Biblical mandate in such situations. It is hard for him to understand how I can say I love him and yet not agree with the stand that he has taken in his life and Christian witness. It is diffcult to know ezactly how his decision should affect our relationship. I do struggle with this and wonder what I should do beyond telling him the truth in love. What are your thoughts on this?
Thank you D. Rose – terrific comment and question!
When I say I have former classmates, current friends and FAMILY members (like you) who are gay, I am not being deceitful. Additionally, I love them. I look froward to seeing them. I enjoy being around them. The issue here is two things. 1) We have allowed (in general terms here) some Christians to define what are larger sins and what are smaller sins. Use this example, without a doubt there are adulterers in any congregation you attend. There are also those who are viewing porn with regularity. Do you hate those people? Obviously as Christians we take marriage seriously – so if one does still care and love those sinners, can’t we care or love all sinners? You see, Christianity has taken homosexuality and placed it on a pedestal as a high ranking sin. We (again we is used in general terms here) have little patience with that sinner. When a homosexual comes for forgiveness we want instant “cure”. If an alcoholic comes for forgiveness, we can be more patient with him. If he falls off the wagon there are plenty to surround him with love and encouragement AS IT SHOULD BE! Yet if a forgiven homosexual “falls off the wagon” with an indiscretion, I honestly don’t see the same love and encouragement.
2) We have permitted the homosexual agenda to define what hate is. If I don’t agree with A, then I hate A. Not at all. I’m in the market for a car. I see certain cars that I don’t really like for various reasons. Do I hate those cars? NO. I just don’t approve of them. This illustration may break down if vetted too much but on the surface it helps show my point. Just because I don’t like something does not mean I hate it.
The thing is I have counseled homosexuals and in past I encouraged them to go to another church. Many congregations are not capable of loving a gay person. The perfect setting for their growth is one of love, forgiveness, support and many congregations do not have it in them to be that. I could write a book on this point and may have opened a can of worms but this does need to be said. If we are going to be effective for Christ, we need to love as Christ loved. The answer is NOT to change the rules and call something pure that God clearly (and Christ) called impure.
I appreciate your reply. What is your understanding of 1 Corithians 5:9-13? My friend is still a professing Christian and in an open homosexual relationship about which he is not repentant. It woulf be far easier if he would walk away from his prefession but he has not. What I see here is tough love, and it is not just tough on my friend, it is tough on all ofus who are his Chrstian friends. Very, very tough.
I am so very sorry for the slowness of this response. Busy, busy, busy! But such is life for us all.
Let it be clear that one who is in a leadership position of a church and has constant, ongoing, unrepentant sexual sin should not remain in that position. There needs to be a characteristic of humility in a leader that causes him to look at his life and see that they need to step away from leadership (NOT THE CHURCH). This is for homosexuality, adultery, fornication, ongoing and persistent problem with pornography. We do not need to treat any of these sins bigger than the other.
When looking at Corinth, please note the context. Context is everything. This is a letter, written from one man, to believers in Corinth. There were MANY issues of sin there. It was a sex saturated area (remind you of a similar culture?). It was a church that not only had incest going on but they were boasting about it. The incest was something they were not even trying to keep secret. There were members who were getting drunk at the Lord’s Supper. ALL of this was going on at the writer, Paul, still calls them “brothers”. (1:10) This is a group that most every church would cast off as heretics today.
I do believe in church discipline. Your question to me about my interpretation of 5:9-13 would be answered this way; We need to heed the warning. We need to refrain from hanging out with ANYONE, ANYWHERE in dealing with our weakness (Psalm 1). I personally do not have a weakness for abusing drugs. It is NO temptation to me at all. Therefore, I could minister daily in that area. However, I should refrain from putting myself in areas where I could be sexually impure.
I do believe you are right that he should step aside from his position of leadership. I will confess freely that I am a bit more liberal in whom I call brother and sister. I base it on 1 Corinthians 1:10 and then the remaining part of 1 Corinthians. We believers have gotten too cozy with making judgements. Jesus asked us to make right judgements. (John 7:24) We need to fully believe, “but for the Grace of God, there go I.”
Remain his friend. Love him. Pray for him. Serve him. Don’t back down on what you believe but present it with love and gentleness. (1 Peter 3:15)
I hope this helps.